Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
