You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
