Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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