someone get that fucking seahorse.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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