The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
