I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
