We won't sleep together?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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