Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
