my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
