your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
