Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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