i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
