is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
