i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well I just put wine in my tea
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
