Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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