How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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