what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
