I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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