i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
