y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
