just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
