do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
