Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
