didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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