1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
