Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize