Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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