So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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