The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
