Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
