Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
