Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize