your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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