Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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