I'm really into asian looking animals
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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