According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
