Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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