Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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