no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize