And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
where are my eyebrows?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
