I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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