I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
