I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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