Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Can Purell be used as lube?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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