He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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