you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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