I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
