i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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