Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize