Soap is not a condiment
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
