I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize