Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
