If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
this just has baby written all over it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
