Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
