She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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