Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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